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THE FEMININE

VIEWPOINT

by and about women

More on "The Problem

of Meeting People"

by Florence Jaffy

Thanks to Alice Horvath for taking up "The problem of meeting people" in the February issue of ONE. But, as usual, and understandably, the problem seems simpler to those who've succeeded than it does to those who haven't. And it's easy to say that the isolated ones haven't tried-because. you know that you tried, and didn't it pay off? The rich man knows that he is rich because he has worked hard (and he has worked); while the poor man blames fate (because hasn't he worked hard too?). But my purpose in writing is not to blame anything or anybody, but to make a few specific points:

(1) In the first place, it's perfectly possible to live in large cities and not know where the bars are. And looking for them can get to be a rather silly as well as a dangerous pastime.

(2) Secondly, Miss Horvath herself recognizes that bars may not be the best way for an isolated homosexual to find congenial friends. Robert Gregory, in his very interesting article in the same issue of ONE, is rather leery of bars as a way of making friends, and when he does use them to introduce the introverted

one

homosexual to this kind of life, he is careful to choose those bars "with a reputation for discretion and wellregulated conduct." How could his introverted" friends-particularly if they included women-possibly find these places by themselves?

(3) Success in making this kind of intimate personal contact, which may come easily to some isn't just a matter of "trying harder" or overcoming timidity, etc. I honestly believe this sort of counsel to be almost useless, and can land the hapless one in constant hot water and/or disappointment. And I am not talking about the severely neurotic or physically handicapped. There are a lot of things involved here, but I think that ultimately the isolated ones must come, or be brought, together in a group.

(4) This brings me to the social club, Miss Horvath's own last suggestion. Miss Horvath does not mention one important fact: those people who have absolutely no acquaintance with the social world of the homosexual are in no position to start up such a group. Of course these people have to reach out, and look for themselvesbut there has to be something there to